I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
