and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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