My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
