just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
