The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize