after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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