I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
