is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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