youre lurking in front of me
It's Friday. Sex?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
