I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
