If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
