Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I need to stop coming to work sober
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
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I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So squirting runs in the family.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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