If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
