I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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