life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
