@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You took a bar mat shot.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
