Sponge bath it is.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
