okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Still dying that you shit outside
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
