if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
