I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize