I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
