I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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