I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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