It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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