Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
