I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
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Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
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We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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