Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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