This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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