She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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