so that wasnt chicken after all
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
