Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
