I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just puked most of my soul out..
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
