Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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