I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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