***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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