I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize