Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize