why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize