is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
