just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize