I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
