We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
