nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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