I will die if light touches me.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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