My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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