I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize