Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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