What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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