I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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