DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
