so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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