I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
