Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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