you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
