Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize