someone owes me an orgasm
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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