my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
