My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize