my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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