4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize