where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
