There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize
