what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
