i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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