New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
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