Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize