and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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