I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Welp...herpes.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
