Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
