Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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