I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
