Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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