I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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